ladyofdragons: (power within)

Wow, finding decent range of expressions for Arcee is hard. Icons are free to use, please just credit this journal. Thank you. ♥

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ladyofdragons: (FMA: Serious Business)

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ladyofdragons: (Gonzo Twirl)

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ladyofdragons: (Replaced by CGI)
STATUS: Currently closed. Read more... )
ladyofdragons: (power within)
And a small story/life lesson/reminder about how my own negative attitude defeats me before I even start.

Today was my last yoga session in the introductory period. That means no more yoga unless I pay the rather hefty cost or arrange work trade. The latter of which I had done last week! That meant starting in April I would work the front desk for one evening a week and get free yoga.

When I arrived for my session and asked if they got the last open day covered (thinking I would offer to do more if they needed it), the lady told me that they got it covered and maybe the Friday I wanted too at the same time thanks to crossed wires with a coworker. BUT, that she'd talk to me more about it after class.

Now, that's not a NO. Just a 'there's complications'. Which I immediately took to a negative place besides trying to tell myself a myriad of more positive things all throughout class. I had a pretty awful session in which I cried during Full Locust and almost threw up during Camel and generally felt cruddy the whole time because I made myself so anxious and tense.

Turns out she just wanted to give the people who have been doing work trade cleaning the room first shot at the front desk job--which makes sense since they have seniority--which meant I could still do work trade just as part of the cleaning crew. Which might actually be better since that starts later so it would conflict with a 9-5 job less. So I got myself all worked up for nothing, not to mention...I utterly FORGOT to count my blessings in that work trade was even an option--without which I would be totally unable to even continue doing yoga.

Life keeps trying to teach me these lessons and I'm get it half the time. Someday here it'll sink in and stick, and I'll be able to act on it differently.

Now for a lot of Notes To Self as I try to make a whole lot of well overdue life changes.
i like lists okay hush )
ladyofdragons: (This is Sparta!)
 I am trying so hard not to rage fit over digital comic piracy.

It's not like I haven't done my share of music piracy in my time. But I try to support the music artists and bands I really love with purchases. How people can say a $2 comic is unmanageable...or even assume that it'd be free from an official source, I have no idea. 

I lone out my Comixology account to net friends just like I loan out my trade paperbacks to locals. I just change my password every few months. I want to engage new people in the things that deserve their attention, things I love, and get them started reading. Because I know that dropping a ton of money on back issues right away is not always easy. But I want them to start buying the book and supporting the creative team for their amazing efforts.

It just gets my hackles up that people could assume that all the hard work done by professionals should be given away free. Their profit margins are already pretty feeble. GAH.

I don't know why it's such a sore point. Maybe it's because I'm an artist that never had a chance to be pro that this burns. Maybe I just want to respect my fellows. Probably because I'd be pissed as hell if it was my hard work someone wanted to get for free. /huffs
ladyofdragons: (problem)
Never use the Preview option on the iPad.

That was a whole huge post about weight, self image, self loathing, health and society's fucked up role in it all that just got eaten.

NICE.

/shows herself out.
ladyofdragons: Credit: http://bella-sol.livejournal.com/ (Default)
Well, not sure exactly what I'll put here, call it an experiment I suppose.

I have written in my LJ in 2-3 years. I kinda stopped posting to Twitter because I felt bad about spamming people and Digsby started sucking so I don't have a low impact way to monitor my feed anymore. There are some people I do miss talking to. When I started my Tumblr it was because I needed a place to collect positive things so it was designated wank free from the start. It changed a bit since my fandoms have taken over my main one, but I still want to keep the emo off there if I can. I can't really keep up with my dashboard daily like used to anyway.

I think dumping my emo on Plurk has done a bit of a disservice, so I think that needs to get cut down some. I feel like people talk/respond to me less than when I first started and I'm not sure why. /chinstroke I could also be imagining it.

This journal can't exactly be "friends only" since I have none right now, but I know most of what I post I won't want public.

But I've always done better when being able to excise thoughts/feelings into external words, a purging of sorts, but also as part of a discovery process, since attempts to articulate such things help clarify them in my mind. So having a place to do that, even if they are only released into a void, is beneficial.

In fact, even as I write this, I wonder if this is not a symbol of the true state of affairs in my life, as I apparently isolate myself further. My LJ account is very, very old, and it always was a way to keep in touch with local friends since we didn't see each other every day. Choosing to post here, instead of at LJ, feels a little like signing the divorce papers finally. I tell myself it's because no one is active on LJ anymore. But really, why should that matter if I just want a place to put my words? I've been feeling less and less "in-tune" with that group as it expands and new people get added and interests change. We're all still geeks and counter-culture to different degrees, but it's getting harder for me to relate. Beyond that, now it seems I don't want to share things with them, and I'm not certain what that means.
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