ladyofdragons: (power within)
ladyofdragons ([personal profile] ladyofdragons) wrote2014-03-16 06:35 pm

It's a forest of lists

And a small story/life lesson/reminder about how my own negative attitude defeats me before I even start.

Today was my last yoga session in the introductory period. That means no more yoga unless I pay the rather hefty cost or arrange work trade. The latter of which I had done last week! That meant starting in April I would work the front desk for one evening a week and get free yoga.

When I arrived for my session and asked if they got the last open day covered (thinking I would offer to do more if they needed it), the lady told me that they got it covered and maybe the Friday I wanted too at the same time thanks to crossed wires with a coworker. BUT, that she'd talk to me more about it after class.

Now, that's not a NO. Just a 'there's complications'. Which I immediately took to a negative place besides trying to tell myself a myriad of more positive things all throughout class. I had a pretty awful session in which I cried during Full Locust and almost threw up during Camel and generally felt cruddy the whole time because I made myself so anxious and tense.

Turns out she just wanted to give the people who have been doing work trade cleaning the room first shot at the front desk job--which makes sense since they have seniority--which meant I could still do work trade just as part of the cleaning crew. Which might actually be better since that starts later so it would conflict with a 9-5 job less. So I got myself all worked up for nothing, not to mention...I utterly FORGOT to count my blessings in that work trade was even an option--without which I would be totally unable to even continue doing yoga.

Life keeps trying to teach me these lessons and I'm get it half the time. Someday here it'll sink in and stick, and I'll be able to act on it differently.

Now for a lot of Notes To Self as I try to make a whole lot of well overdue life changes.

General goal: Kill self destructive, cling and intrusive habits, learn to be more self reliant and productive.

*Create a to-do list every day from the bigger one in my head
*Make it small, with manageable bites (no more unreasonable expectations!)
*Put art on it at least once every three days minimum.
*Stay consistent with tagging one game a day, meme tags on whichever day is light. If I can do them all in a day, then do it.
*Walk/bike everyday, do 10 minute strength training routine? (this could be hard.)
*Do yoga tues/thurs/sat/MAYBE sun? Instead when I can again in April.
*Chant in the morning, at least 5 minutes if possible (this has been hard!). Keep doing gongyo in the evening before dinner.
*Make sleep schedule consistent. Get 6-8 hours sleep a day. Nap between 2-4 if necessary. Power nap 30 minutes (set alarm if needed)
*Get out of bed by 8am at the latest, EVEN IF awake and productive.

*Block/limit all social media on computers (Find some way to selectively handle Tumblr since I have a lot of resources there but it's also a huge time killer/poor escape route)
*When I want to reach for a device and check social media, pick up a book instead.
*Remove social media apps from phone?? (keep in tablet for now.)
*Publish creative work FIRST because I want to share and not because I'm looking for affirmation/ego boost. Be okay with getting 0 response.
*If workstation time is managed poorly and I need a toes up, lay down and pick up a book.
*Control pressure to watch TV with others by establishing limits, but still compromise and watch some!
*Reward with free time at the end of the day. TV, WoW, Tumblr, chat, FR, additional tags, whatever.
*Find a way to control the picking so I can feel confident going out of the house/having spontaneous visitors.
*If already emotionally compromised, step away from the computer. Don't spread it to others no matter how you rationalize it.

Establish better habits in general:
*Make Sunday household chore day? Trash, litter box, floors, bathroom.

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